You there!  Yes, you!  Do you have an abundance of disposable income and wall space?  Are you drowning in a sea of unfurnished wallpaper and cold hard cash?  I have the answer!

I, Mr. Lawrence Duncalf, am an expert in unburdening you of excess space and money.  Using a most efficacious technique, I take all that useless money and use it to cover up unsightly gaps on your wall by giving you a unique work of original art!  Isn't that lovely?

Be the envy of your neighbours!  Make friends: it's a great conversation piece at parties!  Men and women (or both, whatever your preference) may even come to find you attractive!

So don't delay!  You too could join an exclusive club, united by sophistication, elegance, exemplary taste, and by owning an original Lawrence Duncalf painting!

Lots of space, but not much money?  Not a problem!  I do prints too!  I'll even put them in a frame for you!